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Prince of Persia

Main Hall
A Tale like No Other
Within the Warrior
Of Myths and Legends
Passed Prophecies
The Courtyard
The Menagerie
A Soldier's Mess Hall
The [Other] Baths
The Harem
The Hall of Learning
The Observatory
The Hourglass Room


Dear Diary,

I just came back from the baths...I thought a nice refreshing dip in steaming water would help ease the mind and soothe the senses, but I was wrong. If even a percent of the people in the kingdom knew the things that went about in the palace, we would all have to abdicate our crowns. This includes Farah. Yes, "Princess" Farah. -Princess my foot! The things she says! But being a gentleman, I shall keep these things to myself. Yes, Diary, I will only confide in you...

(Disclaimer: The characters, places, and objects that pertain to 'Prince of Persia' belong to Jordan Mechner and Ubisoft. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Please note that the following section is fictional. It is a collection of either genuine or pseudo scenes from the 'Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time' and 'Warrior Within' games with inserted monologue or dialogue the characters would never actually say. With the exception of a few scenes, the ideas come from the talented people at ksite.)

(A big thanks to everyone at ksite whose lines were adopted.)


[This is the scene where the Prince presents the Dagger of Time to his father.]

Prince: [holds out the dagger] "Father, I have brought us honour and glory!"

Shah Raman: "You put that back young man or you're grounded!"


[The Prince is looking at one of his swords musingly.]

Prince: "Today, I don't feel like killing anyone."


Farah: "What do you want to do with your life?"

Prince: "I want to join the circus!"


Farah: [to the Prince] "For the last time, you rewind AFTER a mistake, NOT before!"


Vizier: [to the Prince] "I love you!"


[Scene where the Prince is confronting Dahaka for the first time.]

Prince: [lowers his head sadly] "I miss the Vizier."


Farah: "Help m-"

Prince: "Shut up Farah."


Vizier: "And no one understands that I just want peace, and love, and for everyone to be happy."

Maharajah: "Who are you and what have you done with the Vizier!?!"


[As the "Warrior Within" game is being created...]

Farah: "Hello, Hello? Does anyone remember me??? I'm Farah, the Prince's companion from "The Sands of Time" game...Jordan?...Yannis? Can you hear me????...Hello?"


Prince: "You killed my father!!!"

Vizier: "No, I AM your father!!!"



[Scene with Dahaka dancing around.]

Dahaka: [singing] "I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout! When I get all steamed up, hear me shout, 'tip me over, pour me out!' "


[Scene with the Sultan strutting around his palace.]

Sultan: [singing] "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, soooooo sexyyyy it hurts!" [rips his shirt off]


[Scene where the Prince is desperately holding on to the blade of the Dagger of Time to save Farah from falling down into the room with the hourglass.]

[As the dagger cuts the Prince's hand and it starts to bleed...]

Prince: "Aw man, you stupid $&#@& of a dagger!!!"

Farah: [still hanging on for her life] "Hey! Watch your $&#@& language! There's lady present!" [manages to flip her hair back coolly, despite the fact she is in mortal peril]

Sand Beast: [interrupting, to Farah] "Ladies don't say $&#@& in the palace!!!"

Farah: "But he said $&#@& first!"

Sand Beast: [throwing a hissy-fit] "I don't $&#@& care!!! Don't say $&#@&!!!"


[Scene with the Vizier in the shower.]

Vizier: [singing] "The world is nooooot enough..."




Dahaka: "I think I'm pregnant."

Empress of Time: [clinches fist and screams in fury] "Shahdeeeee!!!"

[Hidden behind a rock somewhere in the palace, Shahdee, red in the face, cowers.]


[Scene where Shah Raman is in the Indian palace, looting the treasure vaults.]

Shah Raman: [singing] "I'm living, in a ma-te-ri-al world, living in a material world. Material!"


Vizier: [sits on a few fluffy pillows and holds a white rabbit in his hands] "I like my Mr. Bunny Buns. Yes, he's mine. My own. My precious."


Prince: [wearing a pink tutu] "I want to be a ballerina."

Dahaka: [to audience, exasperated] "Now do you see why I have to kill him?"


[Scene with the Prince running for his life from Dahaka.]

Prince: "Someone help me!"

[Just as Shah Raman runs in with a spear in hand, Dahaka retreats into the shadows.]

Shah Raman: "Who there! Who there! I'll spike ya!"

[Howling sound.]

[Then suddenly, the Sultan comes out of some bushes with war paint all over his face. He has a loin cloth on and is approaching the Prince and Shah Raman like a sand beast.]

Prince: [in a Scottish accent] "AHHHHHHH! IT'S HIM and he has THE ring!"

Shah Raman: "ARGH! I'm blinded! Run for it! We'll never take him alive! Run!"


[Scene where the Prince falls into the Prison.]

Prince: [singing] "It's getting hot in here...I'm taking off all my clothes..."

Shah Raman: [off camera] "You do that and you're grounded young man!"

Prince: "Aw! Again???"

Farah: [off camera] "Hrmph."


Farah: [to the Prince] "How many times do I have to tell you? You RETRIEVE only AFTER you've stabbed."


[Scene where the Sultan is having brunch with Farah.]

Sultan: "After all, I am the token fat guy: I'm just supposed to smile, look ruddy, stay out of the conversation, and be hungry."

Farah: "And you forget, you're one of the first to die."

Sultan and Farah: [shaking their heads] "Figures."


[Farah walks into the palace kitchen and sees the Prince looking upset. As she walks closer, she sees that he is twisting and turning something in his hands.]

Farah: "What are you doing?"

Prince: [looks up] "What are you doing here? -Never mind that. I'm having trouble opening this jar."

[Farah takes a look at what he's holding and rolls with her eyes.]

Farah: "That's because it's a can!"


Prince: [to his father and older brothers] "I just kidnapped myself! Give me 1,000,000 gold pieces or you will never see me again!"

Farah: "Right. As if we haven't heard THAT before."


Submit your own dialogue or send feedback.


Other Humour:

'Prince of Persia' Comic

See other 'Prince of Persia' comics by Scott Ramsoomair at:

Unofficial 'Prince of Persia' Website
'Prince of Persia' belongs to Jordan Mechner and Ubisoft. All photos belong to their respective owners.